Compression gloves/socks/sleeves
A question that I get asked a lot, especially
here at home, is if compression gloves really work or not. Again this is a very
personal preference, as some CRPS warriors do get some relief from it, while
others feel more aggravated by it. In my case though, it does help...for a
couple of reasons that is. But before I get into that, what is compression
gloves or socks or sleeves? And why do you wear them?
The main purpose of, let’s call it
compression aids, is that it helps for pain, swelling and stiffness.
So how do compression gloves help in my
case?
I remember one of the issues last year
that I struggled with was fear of becoming dependent on wearing the glove every
day. When I mentioned this to Wendy, she made a perfectly logical observation:
"It would be better to be dependent on a glove than on pain medicine
(should medication work - which in my case does not). So weighing up the pro's
and con's there would be much more con's on "drug" dependence, than
on wearing a glove". This made perfectly sense, as I have not looked at it
in this way before. So how does it help me:
1.
Pro's and Con's - It does help for the swelling, pain and inflammation
(pro) - it does irritate the sensitivity (con) - I had to choose and the pro
won. At this point I can definitely feel the difference between wearing them
and not wearing them.
2.
It does help for the stiffness in my hand. I guess it has to do with
both the heat that is generated and the copper infusion.
3.
It does help with gently heating my hand, especially during winter times,
or when walking past the refrigeration section in the supermarket. Yes, I still
feel the cold and get greatly affected by it, but it is much worse when I do
not have the glove on
4.
I feel more confident in using my hand and having my hand out in the open.
Especially in the beginning where I felt ashamed of my hand, it helped to build
a bridge of confidence again where I could accept my hand for what it is;
5.
It makes me more attentive/aware of my hand, almost like reminding my
brain that I can and should use my hand, but that I need to be mindful in doing
so. It helps me to pace myself and not overdo it when using my hand - as it is
easy to do so, as this is my dominant hand.
6. It helps to bridge the gap between my hand and my brain so that my hand
feels worthy or helpful, and my brain treats it as being a true member of my
body.
7. In South Africa we always greet by shaking hands, you know a very strong
"boere" handshake. It helps people to know that they cannot give me
such a firm handshake, or that they rather need to shake my left hand.
8. It creates opportunities for discussions on CRPS, as people would
approach me to ask what happened to my hand. Like a dad at my son's school,
who's kid was playing a rugby match with Liam one Saturday. He approached me to
ask what happened to my hand as he has been noticing that I have a glove on
when I drop the kids off in the morning for school. So I started sharing my
story, and it so happened that he immediately understood, as his best friend,
who lives in another province, has very aggressive CRPS in his leg, so much so
that he is hospitalised almost every week. He thought that CRPS were something
strange and exclusive and very rare, and now he met someone whose son is in the
same grade as his son who has CRPS as well. Well, before I was diagnosed, I did
not even know about CRPS.
10. It looks cool, like a
racing car driver or Michael Jackson - if you think Michael Jackson was cool
lol. Just kidding, wearing a compression glove does have a purpose.
Catch me if you can!
The past couple of weeks has been hectic at work as we were preparing
for an open day for our "new" baby campus. Apart from doing the
designs, I had little time to help my staff with the actual building projects -
a wall here and there, but otherwise I was kept busy with other work. The last
week however I jumped in to help with the last couple of things that had to be
done. Obviously I knew beforehand what to expect afterwards and I had to deal
with it. So the last Thursday was one of those days where my fine motor skills
were properly put to the test. By 3 o'clock that Thursday afternoon it felt
like my hand was trying to run away, while my body was clinging and pulling for
dear life to keep him from doing so...and my brain was just throwing its
imaginary hands in the air, just giving up - letting chaos reign. So on
Thursday night my hand was like the tantrum throwing child in the corner again,
and my brain just didn't give a damn, and just growled "Stop being such a
child and grow up!"...and the rest of my body was trying hard to keep the
peace, but slowly started to lose its patience.
Unfortunately, when you have a family with two small boys at home, kids don't always understand the pain. And why should they? This is not their burden to bare. The problem is with boys, apart from wanting to play, they tend to break things, or come up with these interesting and thought provoking ideas of things that they want to do, build or make...and dad is the one that need to do it. So there is not really much time for sitting back and taking it easy. Which may not necessarily be a bad thing either. I found that it is important for me to try and keep my hand and my brain busy, even when I do not always feel that way or when my hand is sore.
One of the ways that I do this is to get myself some small projects that keeps both my hand and my brain occupied and exercised. But with the understanding that I pace myself and that I stop when it becomes too much. Yes, sometimes I do stretch it a bit, but then I pay the price. The idea however is not to push myself so hard that I cannot use my hand for the next couple of days, but to rather do stuff that challenges my brain and my hand in such a way that they can start working together. Two such projects that I just finished is a Hat & Coat rack and a Floor Lamp. It is not big projects like Liam's bed was, but it does involve a lot of fine motor skills, patience and time. As I explained this to a friend the other day: "In a way I am keeping my hand and brain out of each other's hair, in order for them to work together as a team", and for most of these projects it worked. Both knows that for certain things there is little margin for error, and by looking out for each other and working as part of the same body, they accomplish more.
The boys
Having 2 boys means that there is never a dull moment. Someone asked the
other day if I would share some of their stories in my blogs. Two stories that
comes to mind is surrounding the treehouse. By now you know from my previous
chapters that I built a treehouse for my kids during lockdown, probably where
my hand underwent said trauma that led to the operation that lead to CRPS.
Anyhow, there I was standing 4 meters above the ground on the deck that I had
just finished - starting to build the house itself, with the kids playing in
the backyard. At some point I had to get off the platform, and not having built
a ladder on the tree yet, I had to get down the folding ladder again. As I
placed my foot on the first bar, with the full 113kg body weight following, the
whole ladder collapsed under me and I fell so hard that I got the wind knocked
out of me. I was so busy with the house, that I did not realise that Liam
had climbed on the ladder and unlocked all the clips, so when I stepped on the
ladder, the ladder collapsed as if I was stepping on a grass structure. And
there was Liam, rolling in the grass with laughter. Boys will be boys.
Another story was a couple of months ago. The boys were playing in the tree house when they decided to have a competition over who could climb to the top of the tree the fastest. Now Malan, the 11-year-old, is very sensory. He loves being outdoors, but his hands may not be dirty. Liam (7 years old) on the other hand is a true outdoors, rough, play in the mud, roll around with the dog kid. Food falls in the sand; Malan won't touch it. Liam will dust it off and eat it and asks for his brother's as well. So this specific day Liam had won the competition. I was busy in the kitchen when I heard Malan throwing a full blown tantrum and their mom scolding Liam. The next moment she came into the house, with Malan busy undressing, telling me to talk to Liam. However, as I listened to what had happened I really had to bite down on my lip in order to control my laughter.
So Liam somehow got to the top of the tree first, and then, as
Malan was still climbing, Liam got this bright idea. As he was waiting for
Malan to catch up, he decided to pull down his pants and peed on Malan, who was
still climbing. Malan was totally disgusted, while Liam was breaking himself
laughing. And Liam really let go, with Malan being soaked, having nowhere to go
to avoid it, except down. But gravity was also in favour of the urine, so as
Malan was getting down, so was the urine. I guess when you gotta go you gotta
go. Can you imagine the sheer skill to be able to hit a moving target from the
top of the tree with such impeccable aim like that? I mean Liam have got to be
up there with the world's best sharp shooters, and he did not even use a scope
or nothing. So yes, I had to talk to Liam, while my heart was bursting with
pride - just a little bit. Somewhere in the talk, I might have given him a
secret high five, but who can remember. It was so innocent, so boy like, so
brother like.
But that is how it goes in the Ritter household with two very busy, "innocent" boys that just loves life. Nowadays children are not allowed to be pure children like this anymore. If this was to happen in our schools, parents would be called in, Liam would be expelled and there would be court cases. I am so blessed that my kids have the space at home with a big yard where they can be kids, like we were kids, where they can still be mischievous without being rude, where they can have pure innocent fun, without being accused of being malicious and disrespectful.
Christmas time and the holidays
Being newly diagnosed and at a bad headspace last year this time, I was not in the mood for the holidays. I was angry, frustrated, in immense pain, trying to get to grips with the diagnoses and a whole new way of life. At the time it felt that there was nothing to look forward to. Yes, we went away to my parent’s place at the coast, but it was more for the sake of the children. This year however, I am looking forward to breaking away and to just lay low. It has been a long year and I can feel that I am completely drained. Having something like CRPS, you quickly learn that where you used to battle your normal daily tasks at home and work, you now have to battle much greater demons together with all the usual stuff. And that is tiresome.
With Christmas time drawing near and family gatherings drawing closer though, I still do not feel in the mood for being with people though. It has almost become harder to be with people that you know and love, than with strangers. Don't take this the wrong way, I love them and I always enjoyed their company, it is just that CRPS has a way of making you anti-social. They don't make me feel unwelcome or left out, I think I am doing that to myself as it really has become hard to communicate with people and to mingle as before. Whether it is because of brain fog or the fact that CRPS tends to isolate you because of what it and the medication does to you....the fact is, it happens, and it is very hard to get out of that "slump". You tend to feel that you want to be more on your own, with your own company and soon you get to a point where you stand up one morning and your wife tells you that you are not only withdrawing yourself from friends and family, but also from her and the kids by keeping yourself busy in the garage. It is not intentional; I didn't even notice it that way...it just happens. So wish me luck as we have a family gathering this coming weekend. I know that I have to get over this "fear" or procrastination or whatever you want to call it...but is not so simple.
One of the things that I do look forward to in going to my parent’s place is that we can go places where nobody knows your name and where there are not many people around. I have always been in the "people business' and had to teach myself to act more like an extrovert, even though I am an introvert. Nowadays with the side effect of the meds it just brought the introvert in me much more to the surface, but in a way that, where it used to bother me when I was young, I am embracing it more and more. I have always been in my happy place if I could be somewhere in the mountains in a hut, away from civilisation and technology. I love and need my space. Now, I am longing for it more and more each and every day. If I could, I would take my wife and children and move there in a heartbeat. Perhaps the meds have just the ability to break down walls and fences in a way that it leaves your true soul bare...who you are and who you have been for all these years is suddenly not supressed anymore. Or perhaps it is just me trying to figure this out.
As this will be my last chapter for this year, my prayers for you is that you find your true self again. Or perhaps you have already, in that case embrace it. There is too much "fakeness" in this world. we all put on masks every day in different situations and in different company, instead of just being who we were made and meant to be. CRPS makes you put on even more masks. When you are in pain, you smile. When you are tired, you smile. When you feel depressed, you smile. When you struggle, you smile...It is tiring. I am not saying that we should walk with our heart on our sleeves, but we need to have the courage to, even if it is just for the holidays, be able to take off the masks, break down the walls and barriers and just be...Everyone need a safe space where they do not have to pretend or where there are no expectations. May these holidays be that time for you.
Thank you for all you support through the year. May you all have a wonderful and blessed Christmas! From my family to yours.
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